the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
When did angry sex become our thing?
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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