Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
