I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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