if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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