Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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