You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Life is so much better after having sex.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
