uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize