hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"