did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals