I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.