They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
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while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
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When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.