I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...