U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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