I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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