You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
