i think my tv is drunk
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
