I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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