WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Randomize
