I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Randomize
