I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
