someone get that fucking seahorse.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
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