i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
