Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
