she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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