whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
