Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
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