I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
