i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Randomize
