I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
You're a waste of cheezeits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize