All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
