opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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