it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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