Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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