I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
