i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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