next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
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