I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
