Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
