i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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