girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
There r osticjed everywhere
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Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
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Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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