had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
