I can't watch pbs sober anymore
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Is it because I queefed?
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
