Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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