i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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