chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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