all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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