wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
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No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
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She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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