"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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