I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Randomize
