So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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