Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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