Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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