I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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