Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
time to smoke my breakfast
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
