Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Randomize
