Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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