it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
