I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
