idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
As shirtless as possible
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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