No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
