So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
