You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Randomize
