Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
