Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Betty ford says i'm here all night
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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