If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
