Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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