woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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