I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Sorry about my life...
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
