Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Sorry about my life...
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize