my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Randomize
