This is not my ceiling
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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