oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize